much better than a pity party

Often blogs (and Facebook) are places where people put their best foot forward ... sharing their joys and accomplishments, good ideas, or happy family photos. But let's face it, if my blog is supposed to give a glimpse into my life, then I need to be vulnerable and share even those moments when I mess up. Moments that are not perfect or happy. Moments when I'm not the person I want to be.

So, I need to be honest and say that I've been selfish lately. Several times over the past few days, I've wallowed in a personal pity party. Those of you who know me might be thinking - but it's your birthday, why would you be wallowing?

That's just it. It's my birthday. I had many exciting plans to celebrate with friends and family this weekend. But then, this came along and stifled my positive attitude:

Due to this massive snow storm, many of my birthday plans had to change:

1. One of my best friends was planning to visit NJ this weekend so we could celebrate our February birthdays together (it's a tradition!). But her drive from Boston to NJ would have been horrendous, not to mention dangerous, so she opted not to come. (I don't blame her, but this decision left both of us sorely disappointed.)

2. Several weeks ago, Mom bought tickets for 3 of us to celebrate my birthday by going into the city on Friday night to see Cinderella on Broadway. Since blizzard conditions were expected at that time, we decided to exchange our tickets for another date. While I was relieved we didn't have to risk traveling in and out of the city during a snow storm, I was also bummed to postpone something I was looking forward to for a while.

3. When snow comes, my husband often leaves to help my uncle with his snow plowing/shoveling business. Though it's helpful to have the extra income, it meant waking up alone today since he was called out to work in the early morning hours. It also meant having to shovel out the car without his help today (at least if I didn't want to spend another day snowed in). Thank goodness for my gracious sister-in-law who pitched in to help me!

This post is not meant to make you feel bad for me. Quite the opposite: I knew that writing it out would remind me how silly and ridiculous I must sound. Sure, my plans were changed, but it's not as if my birthday was completely without celebration. 

My day made a turn for the better when I met a friend for a lunch date at Starbucks. She always brings a smile to my face! I appreciated that she put the extra effort in to finding a way to see me on my birthday. And while my hubby was busy this morning, he's all mine tonight! We have plans to go out for dinner together and shop for my birthday present. He knew I would appreciate picking it out (a shelving/storage unit for our home). Tomorrow, we have plans to see both of our families to celebrate with them. Also, the calls, texts, and messages I've received today have made me feel special!

So, while my birthday did not necessarily go as planned, and I spent too much time feeling sorry for myself, the bottom line is that I still had a great birthday. I am blessed with great family and friends who make me feel loved not just on my birthday, but every day. 

a creative way to pray

My husband and I do our best to arrange our schedules so that we can eat dinner together most nights ... and when we do, we end our meal by reading a brief Scripture passage and praying together. We found though that we were often saying the same prayer night after night, and forgetting to pray for the people and places that we said we would pray for. So, the teacher in me came up with a way to make sure we remembered to pray for the various praises and requests that were brought to our attention.

I grabbed a handful of popsicle sticks from my overflowing stash at school and wrote down a prayer request or praise on the end of each one with a thin black permanent marker. I then put the popsicle sticks into a coffee mug, and placed the mug within reach of our dinner table. I placed another empty coffee mug in a similar location. 

Each night now, each of us picks at random one popsicle stick out of the first mug, prays for that request or praise, and then puts the stick into the other mug when finished. This way, we will be sure to pray for all of the requests and praises. When we run out of popsicle sticks, we will start over with them again. When a request is answered, we will take it out of the mug or leave it in as a reminder to thank God for answered prayer. We have extra popsicle sticks on hand to add more requests or praises as time goes by. So far, this has been a great way to develop our prayer life together and with our Heavenly Father. It was so easy to set up -- I highly recommend trying it for yourself!

our perfect couch saga

What a blessing it was for my parents to generously offer us their used couches when we first got married and moved into our own place. They fit nicely in our space and served their purpose for 2 and a half years (not to mention the 10-15 years that we sat on them at my parents' place!). But after stuffing the cushions a few too many times, and never wanting to sit in the middle of the couch because the padding had worn down so much, we decided it was time to invest in something new. We'd been saving for a while, and we figured New Years sales was a good time to look!

So on January 1, we stopped into furniture store after furniture store on Route 17, searching for the perfect couch(es). We had a budget in mind and were not about to let any suave sales man talk us into spending more (ha!).  Though we looked around a lot, our hearts were set on one of the first sectionals we laid eyes on that day. It was chocolate brown, microfiber, and perfectly within our budget with delivery and tax included! By the end of our shopping experience, we had paid our fees and set a delivery date for the following Saturday.

In preparation for our new purchase to arrive, we took down the Christmas tree and brought our old couches to the garage (with some help from my brother -- thanks!). I anxiously came home from my errands that Saturday morning, actually looking forward to doing schoolwork since it would be from the comfort of my new couch! 

Unfortunately though, I came home to find 2 delivery men explaining to my husband that there was no way this couch was going to fit up the stair well and make it into our apartment. Of course, he asked them to at least try, but it became obvious very quickly that they were absolutely right. While the couch would've fit in our space once in the living room, it was not going to make it up. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I was crushed. I was embarrassed that we hadn't even thought to measure the stair well, and simply upset because I had already become attached to this couch that was oh-so-comfortable in the store and fit so nicely into our budget.

That night, we were back at the store for a full refund. (Thank goodness we didn't lose any money on our first attempt.) I was overwhelmed by the idea of starting all over to shop for the perfect couch, but we tried anyway. We now knew more detailed specifications. We needed a sectional that would break down into at least 3 pieces, none of them measuring longer than 82" long. Yikes, this wasn't going to be easy. Not to mention that when you buy sectionals in pieces, you have to spend more money because more fabric is needed to make it. Needless to say, our budget had to expand. I was still upset and unable to commit to anything quickly after the last couch fiasco, so we went home to sit on this instead:

Yes, that is our Aerobed. At least we had one or we would've been sitting on dining room chairs or the floor to watch TV! We could've brought our old couches up from the garage, but it was such a hassle getting them out that we didn't want to ask for help in bringing them back in, only to move them back out again soon when we did finally find the perfect couch. So, we sat on the air mattress for a few weeks in the meantime.

Our busy schedules and frustration kept us out of the furniture stores for a while, but last weekend we decided to give it another go. (The air mattress was getting old!) We went back to the same stores, but this time with even more specifications and (sigh) a higher budget. I figured if we had to spend more money, we should at least get exactly what we want and pray it lasts us a LONG time! 

I am SO glad we were patient in this quest because that night our hard work finally paid off.  We found another sectional to fall in love with -- this time a chocolate brown, leather sectional that could be broken into 4 pieces. AND... it was on sale! (Not quite to the price of our original budget -- that would've been too good to be true -- but at least we didn't pay full price!) Though the measurements made us a little nervous (I can't even tell you how many times my husband took out the tape measure), we decided to go for it. The worst that could happen was that they didn't fit (again) and we get a full refund, right? We knew that from experience, haha! Though I would've been mortified had that happened again.

Thankfully, that wasn't the case! Take a look:

The delivery men were able to get this sectional up the stair well with no problems and it fits PERFECTLY in our space. It was totally worth the wait for this one! We love coming home to sit on our couch, and we are so excited to host others at our place now that we have more seating.

PS: I am feeling a bit guilty even now as I post this because my husband and I have made some very large purchases lately -- the new car, and now this! It is not like us to spend large sums of money! I have to keep reminding myself that we saved carefully for both of these items for a long time now and just happened to buy them around the same time. However, don't expect to see any new, large expenses popping up on this blog again any time soon. (God, please don't throw us for any unexpected loops in the near future!) We need to start SAVING again, instead of spending. :)

5 minute workout and more

Ever since the doctor said "high cholesterol" (I blame my genetics!) and "exercise is your best medicine," I've been trying a bit harder to make exercise a more normal part of my routine. Unfortunately though, I've never been one who loves to exercise. I love taking walks with friends, or getting outside for a leisurely hike or bike ride on a nice day. But intense exercise? Yuck. Don't get me wrong, I feel great when I'm done! But getting myself motivated to start is always difficult. Had God designed me to be an athlete, things might be different, but the reality is that me and sports have never mixed well. Growing up, my feeble attempts at T-ball, soccer, skiing, gymnastics, and basketball were all short-lived. I tried hard to make my dad (and grand-dad) proud in the sports department (Dad spent many nights shooting hoops with me after dinner), but thankfully they both came around to realize that God gifted me in other ways. It may not have been quite as thrilling for them to watch the school play or spring concert, but I know they were/are proud of my musical ability and creativity.

If only I could burn enough calories singing or crafting! I would be set! Instead, I've had to come up with other fun ways to get some exercise. I made it a goal to work out 3 times a week, getting my heart rate up for at least 30 minutes. While simply going for a run was doing the trick for a while in college, I've found that it may not be best for me now. It's difficult to get home from work with enough daylight left to run, not to mention the cold temperatures and snow covered sidewalks! So, here's what has been (mostly) working for me lately. Thank goodness for some new options!

1. My sister-in-law introduced me to Mandy's Underground Fitness. Since a gym membership is out of the question for us financially, Mandy's is a great alternative. Mandy leads several work out classes a week in her parents' basement (though will soon have her own space!) for women of all ages. With prices as low as $8 a class (even cheaper if you commit to many classes), it is a great way to exercise with other people. Mandy brings such positive energy and new ideas to each work out, so it's never dull! We work hard and laugh a lot. I only wish she was located closer to my house so I could go more often. I've been going to one of Mandy's classes per week. What I love most is that I'm more motivated to push myself while there because I'm encouraged by others. Going to Mandy's is by far my most intense, but also most enjoyable, workout of the week. Though often sore the next day, it's totally worth it!

2. Since I am more likely to actually exercise if I plan to do so with someone else, I try to schedule a work out with a friend each week as well. Sometimes this is a walk with mom on the weekends (don't worry, walking with mom is no leisurely deal -- I am always trying to keep up with her long legs!). But for week day workouts, I am very grateful for a new friend who lives just a few blocks away! We can quickly meet up for a walk/run around our neighborhood, or on rainy and cold days, we've opted for going to one place or another to do a work out video together. I love that I am distracted by our conversation so the work out seems to go faster! And when all else fails, sometimes I even convince my ultra-athletic husband to go for a slow jog with me. This is always a last resort because he usually tries to get me to run farther than I do on my own!

3. The previous options take care of 2 work outs in a week, but then there's that third one that I try so hard to squeeze in, but doesn't always happen. Why not? Well, because I end up doing it on my own. Normally, I enjoy "Jenna time" but not when it means working out alone. I am always waiting for this one to be over. When I do muster up enough energy to make it happen, it usually means a quick run/walk on the streets around my house or a work out video in my living room. (Sorry to my downstairs neighbors for my jumping around!). But like I said, this is the first workout to go during a busy week. 

4. I know I shouldn't make excuses for my lack of exercise, but in the hurried pace of life that defines North Jersey, it's so hard not to. For days when my busyness gets the best of me, there's always the 5 minute workout. A group of teachers at school got to talking about exercise during lunch one day, and many of them shared similar feelings about wanting to work out but not being able to find the time. My co-2nd grade-teacher (famous for her brilliant ideas) then shared what she heard on the Dr. Oz show not too long ago -- and the 5 minute workout club began. Since then, a few of us have been bringing our sneakers to school, and spending 5 minutes together after 3:00 dismissal. In our dress clothes and sneakers, we complete 5 moves, each for one minute. You wouldn't guess it, but we can totally break a sweat in just 5 minutes. Of course there are days when we need to rush out to meetings or appointments, so we are not as consistent as we set out to be. But, there are often at least 3 of us who motivate each other to squeeze in a short work out before heading home for the day. We figure 5 minutes of exercise is better than none at all! Thank goodness for our PE teacher who faithfully asks every day who is up for a few minutes of exercise! It's hard to say no to her!

I may not stick to my exercise plan as strictly as I should, but I am happy to report that the addition of these work out options has helped lower my cholesterol and made me enjoy exercising at least a little bit more. I guess the key to exercise for me is having others to hold me accountable!

a look back on 2012

Well I didn't expect to ring in the new year with the flu. Was hoping for a healthy 2013! Not off to a good start. But since I'm confined to the couch, I thought now was as good a time as any to look back at the past year and give thanks for God's goodness! So with a little help from my iPhoto library, here are the highlights of the last year. 12 images from 2012!

 

Celebrating Mom & Dad's 50th birthdays,

surprising them with a party and 50 reasons why we love them

 

This little girl's 1st birthday!

All of us gathering in VA to celebrate ...

what joy she brings to our family!

 

Being together for our 2nd anniversary,

celebrating with an overnight getaway down the shore

 

Welcoming Isabella!

My cousin's first baby and the first great grandchild

 

Our yearly reunion, always good to see these great college

friends and pick up where we left off!

His first job! Both of us now employed in jobs we love,

celebrating in New York City

Two family weddings in 2012,

one on each side of the family,

so great to get everyone together for celebrations!

My first student teacher,

having an extra set of hands to help out in 2JB!

Next steps for a.j.e.less designs,

a new website, our most successful open house,

and more orders than ever before!

A successful knee surgery for my youngest brother,

looking forward to his complete recovery in 2013!

A healthy and happy baby for our

best friends. What a blessing he is already!

 

And of course, our new car! We love it and hope it

will see us through many years to come!

Happy New Year! Now to see what 2013 has in store.

reflection

After a busy holiday season, Christmas break has finally provided some time for rest and reflection.

 

My emotions have been all over the map for the last couple weeks. Most recently, I've been filled with joy as we celebrated our Savior's birth with family and friends. Yet even in these days of happy rejoicing, here and there my heart remembers all those who are grieving during this holiday season -- those close to home and far away, family, friends or those I've never met. Regardless, my heart has been with them, along with my prayers.

 

I couldn't help but think especially of those families in Newtown, Connecticut. Ever since I heard the news of the devastating tragedy they faced on that unforgettable Friday, I've had a hard time not thinking about it. Being an elementary school teacher myself, this tragedy had even greater impact for me than previous public shootings.

 

I was relieved not to hear about the devastation at Sandy Hook Elementary School until after my own school day was finished. I saw a few parents upset when picking up their kids that day and I wondered why. Had I known the reason, I think I would've been equally emotional with my students. When I did hear the news from a colleague shortly after school, I was shocked. My mind flooded with questions, the main one being: "Who could do such a thing, and WHY?" I wanted to learn more but decided that watching the news was not a good option for me. I am a very visual person and images stay in my mind long after I've seen them. I didn't want to fill my mind with images of the terror that happened that day. I was already imagining it, and so disturbed just thinking of the elementary school students and staff who bore witness to it all.

 

Though I did listen to the NPR radio coverage on my way home that day, and had to try hard to hold back my tears. Over the next couple days, I kept thinking of those parents who couldn't tuck their children in that night, or those students shaking in their hiding places, or the teachers and staff who did everything they could think of to comfort and protect the students they loved so much. I also thought of the first responders who had no choice but to be strong, even when they too probably wanted to close their eyes and cry.

 

By Sunday morning, I decided I should turn on the TV to honor those whose lives were lost by seeing their names and faces on the screen. In each face, it was hard not to see my own students shining eyes or smiles, or those of my colleagues. To me, it was a grim reminder that this tragedy could've happened anywhere, at any school.

 

That night, I also tuned in to the Interfaith Prayer Service that was held in Newtown in honor of the victims. I joined in with my own prayers, that somehow God would bring good out of such a bad situation, and that he would comfort the families of those beloved 26 and the entire Newtown community.

 

Perhaps watching the news that day was not the wisest decision for me though. Sunday night, I laid awake in bed for hours. Thoughts and emotions ran wild in my mind --- sadness for those affected, fear for the safety of my own school, dread for the conversation I would have with my class the next day, and one looming question:

 

As a teacher, what would I do in that situation?

 

I have the utmost respect for those teachers and administrators who gave their lives to save others. I can only hope that I would do the same for my precious 7-8 year olds if I were ever in the position to do so. I'm sure God would give me strength and wisdom in times of danger, and I trust Him to protect us. Yet, that night as I laid awake, I couldn't help but form a plan. I felt there had to be something I could do, even something small, that would make my students (and myself) feel the slightest bit more secure at school. I decided to keep my classroom door locked from that point on, but propped open with a wooden block door stopper, so students and teachers can still go in and out easily even if the door is closed. This way, in the event of an emergency, I wouldn't have to go to my desk, get my keys, then run to the opposite side of the room, go into the hallway, and lock the door from the outside. Instead, just one kick of the door stopper will allow me to close and lock the door quickly. I'm also grateful to have a bathroom in my classroom this year, where I could hide all the little ones and guard it with my life. I pray I never have to.

 

It was different walking into school that following Monday morning. Though I know it is still a secure place to be, it felt less safe and sacred than it did the week before. We met as a staff to discuss how to talk about the tragedy with our students in an age appropriate way. I was worried that my 2nd graders would be talking about it together before I could even address it with the class. But amazingly (a total God moment!), they knew better than to bring it up as "playground conversation." When we met for devotions as a class, I told them something sad happened at a school in CT --- that some students and teachers were hurt and we needed to pray for them and their families. I asked them to raise their hands if they already heard about this sad story and talked about it with their parents. The majority of them raised their hands. We spent some time in prayer, and I closed by telling them they could write me a note during the day if they wanted to tell me what they knew or ask questions about what happened. A few took me up on the offer, wanting to fill me in on what they learned from their parents, but most had already moved on and were now more concerned with which book to read or what to play at recess. Only one student's question was hard for me to answer:

 

"My mom says it will never happen to me. Is that true, Mrs. Beverly?"

 

Oh, if only I could say, "Yes. Definitely. It will never happen to you." But how, in this sinful world, could I make such a promise? I quickly came up with an alternative answer. I assured this student that our school is a safe place to be, and that teachers will do anything to protect their students. I reminded her that incidents like the one in Sandy Hook Elementary School don't happen often, and that there are millions of students who go to school around the world every day and go home unharmed. And thankfully, since I work in a Christian school, I could leave her with one more important truth. While I can't promise her that evil will never invade our school, I can promise that God is watching over us and will NEVER leave us. With that, this sweet girl skipped back to her desk and resumed her reading.

 

Funny how what I told her was exactly what I needed to hear too. 

 

After Monday, each day at school got a little easier as we all adjusted back to routine. Little by little, I was able to pull my mind away from Friday's tragedy and refocus on my students. Even during Wednesday's lock down drill, the kids were not fearful, knowing that the drills we practice are just another thing we do to stay safe at school.

 

While I initially dreaded talking to my students after this tragedy, I can now say that being with them was the best way to remind myself that we cannot live in fear. We can take precautions, but ultimately our strength and trust can only come from God alone.

 

My prayer for the Newtown community is that they will also be able to find strength in God through this incredibly difficult time.

a gift to ourselves

Just 9 years ago, my 17th birthday was just around the corner and my dad was helping me decide on my first car. When he asked what I wanted, I had many important specifications in mind ... "Hmm..., a pretty color, 4 wheels, and a CD player." My dad had a good laugh (and quite a different experience with my two brothers that followed). But, it sure did make the car buying process a lot easier! The first used car my dad found for me to take a look at was a 2001 Oldsmobile Alero. I took it for a test drive in the dealership parking lot and decided it was a winner! It was previously owned by an older gentleman who only put about 36,000 miles on it and had taken great care of the vehicle, inside and out. For that reason, my brothers referred to the car as a "Grandpa car," but I loved it and that's all that mattered.

That car was so good to me. Until recently, I rarely had any problems with it. I took the car with me everywhere -- Delaware, Boston, Washington DC, back and forth to Michigan too many times to count! One Spring Break, four of us piled in and took turns driving it all the way down to Florida! I'll admit that I had my fair share of minor accidents,  bumping into snow banks or parked cars (oops!). A deer hit me once and left some damage (yes, I believe the deer hit me, not the other way around -- it came out of nowhere!). But aside from my own mistakes, the old Alero was faithful to the end. As our only vehicle for quite some time, my husband and I put a lot of stock in that car!

So it was bittersweet for me when we realized the life of the Alero was coming to an end. We had racked up over 117,000 miles and the wear was starting to show. For the past couple years, more and more things started to go wrong and we realized we were spending more money on repair bills over the course of a year than we would on a new car payment. The time had finally come to start looking for a new car.

After months of research (thanks to my hubby for that!) and a few test drives, we decided to purchase a 2013 Subaru Impreza hatchback. After selling the Alero on Craigs List, we were all set to order our Subaru. We picked up the new ride last week and we absolutely love it. Merry Christmas to us! We hope this car treats us as well as the old Alero!